It’s been almost three years since I last posted on Life With Tony and Enzo. To say life has gotten in the way is an understatement.
Between work exploding to new heights during the pandemic to things getting back to normal to the boys playing lacrosse and basketball to the firehouse and everything else; it’s hard to find time to write just for fun anymore, especially when you write all day long.
However, I felt today was a great day to jumpstart this blog again.
Children are resilient. They can bounce back from the most difficult of situations if you let them explore their feelings. If you get them to suppress their feelings, if you dismiss them, or if you tell them they are wrong or shouldn’t feel that way; they will struggle with those difficult situations.
While this might have been taboo when I was growing up; it no longer is. At least in my mind it isn’t.
Stop letting your child apologize for the feelings they have. It isn’t helping them. It isn’t helping you. It isn’t going to help their development. And, it sure won’t help them once they are an adult.
We are all entitled to our feelings about EVERYTHING. Work, school, friends, family, the world. It doesn’t matter why you feel a certain way or what made you feel that way. Acknowledge your feelings and talk about them. But never apologize for them.
Enzo wears his heart on his sleeves. He also tends to apologize when he gets upset for anything. We tell him constantly to stop apologizing for how he is feeling.
No more “I’m sorry for being sad.”
No more “I’m sorry for being hurt.”
No more “I’m sorry for being mad.”
No more “I’m sorry I miss…”
There are plenty of things in life that make us sad, angry, upset, feeling less than and missing people we love. Talk about your feelings when you are experiencing them. Do not shrug them off or let someone dismiss them or make you feel less than because of them.
It’s never easy to feel angry, mad, sad, or hurt. It can be even more challenging when others tell you those feelings don’t matter.
As parents, it is our job to advocate for our children and give them all the tools they need to be happy, healthy, and successful.
A great place to start is getting them to stop apologizing for how they feel.
It’s my hope that my boys will have the emotional wherewithal to handle anyone they come in contact with in their lives who tries to dismiss or discredit their feelings. It has taken me a long time to get to that place, but I am finally starting to turn a corner and I will be 38 this year.
